Today the 112th Congress convenes, and Speaker John Boehner receives the gavel from Nancy Pelosi.
We have been promised the ultimate dog and pony show for the next two years. We have been told they will repeal Obamacare, cut the budget, reduce the deficit, and bring accountability back to Washington.
Pretty much the same spiel they promised the last time, but utterly failed to deliver.
But unlike most, I do not shudder at the impending self-destruction about to befall. Instead I take a realistic look at the kabuki theater we are about to endure for the next two years.
Over the next 22 months we will be treated to a spectacle befitting Telemundo on a Saturday night. There will be drama, suspense, and intrigue. But mostly, there will be gridlock. For the next two years, nothing will get done, nada, zip, zilch.
Well, that isn't entirely true.
There will be lots of bills introduced, and many of them will pass the House. Some will even pass the Senate. But they will all have a few themes in common.
Most legislation will fall into one of three categories in the months to come. There will be the "pathetic base pandering", the "ridiculously obvious", and the "completely useless" bills.
The base pandering bills will be nothing more than red meat to the tea baggers who elected the 112 Congress. They will be bills for show only, and will have no chance in the proverbial Hell where Glenn Beck resides of passing. An example of such bills will be seen on January 12, when the House will vote to repeal Health Care Reform. It will go nowhere. The Senate won't pass it, and even if the Senate had a collective brain fart, the President would veto it.
The ridiculously obvious bills will be those introduced to address a non-existent problem. They will be so innocuous and self evident, that they will pass both chambers easily, and the President will sign them, hailing the bipartisanship Washington is now showing. A shining exemplar of such a bill is a proposal soon to be introduced to require any presidential candidate to show proof of United States birth. It's already basically in the Constitution. It would be like passing a law forbidding children for running for federal elected office. It's just window dressing on the whorehouse which is C Street.
Then there are the completely useless bills, which will have so many loopholes as to be completely functionless. They will become law, because the Democrats will see they have no teeth and are basically harmless, but will provide political cover to show Washington is working again. Such a bill is the proposed cap on spending, which would basically prevent any deficit spending not related to defense or security, and not enacted during a time of war. If you haven't noticed, we have two lovely wars right now, so this one is a no brainer.
Of course there will be budget battles, and the Republicans will defund everything from science to children, forever invoking the Baby Jesus, freedom, and the Beaver--the TV show, not the anatomical obsession of at least 50% of Republicans (the other 50% are more interested in Dick, the organ, not the old VP). But as they slash and burn, hopefully my fellow Americans will see the Congress they got either by voting or not voting in the midterms. And then, perhaps, they might wake up and do the right thing in 2012.
Of course, I also still believe in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and Leprechauns, so I would take my prognostications with a pinch of salt.
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